Carol Schober, PsyD

We don’t have to  look very far today to have our basic sense of security threated. Our jobs, our savings, our country all seem to be up in the air. Living in this state of uncertainty helps to fire up underlying insecurities and worries. Whether it is the loss of our security or the loss of face, it does not matter. We respond.

Fear is a catch-all word, much like anger. Both are powerful emotions that are born of complex internal interactions. They are tied to our disappointments and our hopes. Fear and anger are very basic emotions that are easily stimulated and manipulated.

We are all familiar with having our buttons pushed. The media and the political machines are adept at this. They know how to tap into the basic, primal emotions that drive our decision making. Next time you watch a commercial or see a political advertisement, notice your response. What are they stimulating? Is is a basic insecurity? Is it a fear for your safety? Is it a worry about your ability to survive financially?

Notice the emotion. Notice your body’s physical response. Then notice where your thoughts go.

If you hear yourself thinking thoughts like “If only I had not ….” or “I’m never going to be able to…” or “this is hopeless” or even “there is only one answer” these may be signs that your buttons have been pushed and you are being manipulated. Step back, if you can, and see if you can figure out where those thoughts originate. Is it really the case or have your emotions been called into play?

When you are mindful of your response you have much more control. Pause….take a breath….calm the emotion. Then, look at the FACTS. Sometimes we are to blame. Sometimes there are few options. But there are many more times when that is not the case and our emotions are used to sway our decision making. Be aware of what is happening and then engage in your decision making.